《圣经》的婚姻、离婚、与再婚观

本文摘自：http://www.chinesebiblicalcounseling.net/S_Divorce_Ling.htm

林慈信

MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND RE-MARRIAGE IN THE BIBLE

经文：

创Genesis 2: 24                        申Deuteronomy 24:1-4                        箴Proverbs 2:17

玛Malachi 2:13-16                   太Matthew 5:31, 32 (esp. 32) 太Matthew 18:15-18

太Matthew 19:3-9 (esp. 9)       林前I Corinthians 7:10-16

引言：为什么需要讨论这题目？

Introduction.  Why Discuss the Topic?

1. 在基督徒中间，包括华人福音派教会的信徒，离婚越来越普遍。

Divorce is increasingly common among Christians.   No longer a taboo word. 

2. 当基督徒离婚时，影响到很多人。小孩亲戚，全教会等。

Many are affected, and suffer the consequences, when divorce happens. 

3. 神在<<圣经>>中对于婚姻，离婚与再婚有清楚的教导。我们不需，也不应该只靠我们自己的想法(常识) 来正视这些问题。

God has spoken on marriage, divorce, and re-marriage.  Don’t go by our own

ideas.

4. 神为离婚中的受害者提供帮助，支持与安慰。林前10：13

God offers help, support and comfort for those who suffer the consequences of divorce.  I Cor. 10:13 

5. 基督徒常常对于爱的真义，婚姻，离婚，性，罪与再婚有不合乎<<圣经>>的观念。罗马书12：2

Christians often have un-biblical ideas about love, marriage, divorce, sex, sin and re-marriage.  Romans 12:2

6. 我们应该彼此担当重担(加6：2) 。因此，我们需要神的教导。

We are to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2).  So God’s instructions are

necessary. 

7. 对离婚有正确的认识，可以帮助单身的青年基督徒好好的准备结婚。

Understanding this helps single people prepare properly, biblically for marriage. 

I.  婚姻 Marriage

　

1. 神设立婚姻，为了给人同伴(创2：18)。神也吩咐人类要生养众多，遍满全地(创1：26-28) 。婚姻不是人想出来的，是神所设立的。

(神当然知道人类会否人口爆炸，小孩的大学教育太贵等问题！神仍然坐在宝座上！)

God instituted marriage for companionship (Genesis 2:18).  God also wanted man and woman to multiply and fill the earth (Genesis 1:26-28).  Marriage is not our idea; it’s God’s idea.     (Now God of course knows about the population explosion problem, and the expenses of a child’s education, etc.!  God is sovereign!)

2. 婚姻不是圣礼(我们不同意天主教的教导) 。结婚并不让我们得到更多的救恩

。单身也并不等于更加属灵。

婚姻是一个盟约。是在神面前，证人面前立志，立约，终生爱对方。

(无论在教会行礼，或在政府面前，交换了誓约，就是结了婚了！)

Marriage is not a sacrament (as the Catholic church teaches).  By getting married, you do not gain more grace/salvation.  Nor is singleness more holy/spiritual. 

Marriage is a covenant.  It is a commitment, a vow before God, to love until death. 

(Whether done in a church or in front of a government official, once vows are exchanged, two persons are married!) 

箴2：17

Proverbs 2:17: “that leaves the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God.”

玛拉基书2：14

Malachi 2:14: “the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”   

3. 爱的真义是什么？(林前13章)

爱就是：决志为对方的最高好处而活。爱不是一个感觉。爱里有感觉，爱

也透过感觉来表达。

这个功课，神要我们用一辈子来学习。

What is love?  (I Corinthians 13)  It is a decision to live and act for the other’s highest good.  It is not a feeling, though love is expressed with feelings. 

This, of course, is a lesson which God wants us to take a whole lifetime to learn.

II.  离婚 Divorce

　

1. 神恨恶离婚。离婚从来就不是神的计划。离婚是人类堕落的后果。

God hates divorce. Divorce is never God’s intention.   Divorce is a consequence of the fall of mankind.

玛拉基书2：16

Malachi 2:16: “‘For I hate divorce,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel.”

可是在人类中，离婚的确会发生。因此神虽然恨恶离婚，可是　管制离婚。

(例如：申24章，太19章，林前7章等。)

But divorce happens.  Though God hates divorce, He regulates it (e.g. Deut. 24, Mt. 19, I Cor. 7). 

　

2. 虽然神管制离婚，可是神的旨意从来就是：一男，一女 = 一体。

Even though God regulates divorce, God’s will is  – one man, one woman = one flesh. 

太19：6

“What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

　

3. 耶稣教导　的门徒(基督徒) ：不可离婚。离婚乃将婚约破除。

Jesus instructs his followers (Christians): do not divorce.  Divorce breaks the

marriage.   

太5： 31-32

“It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’: but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except of the reason of unchastity (fornication), makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32)   

4.      不合乎<<圣经>>的离婚之后，若再婚乃是奸淫，因为这个后来的婚姻损害了先头的婚姻的圣洁。

注：可能很多基督徒目前活在这种的婚姻当中；可是不要随便再离婚；

悔改必蒙赦免！

After a divorce not warranted by the Bible, if either one enters into another marriage, the subsequent marriage is adulterous because it has violated the sanctity of the first marriage. 

Note: Many Christians may be living in such “adulterous” 2^nd marriages.  However this does not mean that they should hastily go and get another divorce.  When we repent of our sins, God promises forgiveness!  

5.      耶稣提出一个例外情况：淫乱。

注：淫乱(fornication)  = 所有与性有关的罪。

奸淫 (adultery) = 任何违背婚约，不忠的行为。

这两个字在圣经里有特定的用法。

太5：32

太19：9

Jesus provides one exception: fornication. 

Note: “Fornication” is any kind of sexual sin.  “Adultery” is any unfaithfulness which  violates the marriage vow, sexual or not.  

“Except for the reason of unchastity (fornication)” (Matthew 5:32). 

“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”  (Matthew 19:9)

6. 耶稣在太19：9针对的，是犹太人太容易，太轻率地离婚。神虽然管制离婚，要求人离婚时必需给对方休书，可是神从来不鼓励人离婚。神从来没有在任何情况里要求人必须离婚！

In Matthew 19:9, Jesus is rebuking the Jews for easy divorces.  Though God regulated through certificates of divorce, he did not encourage divorce.  God never requires/encourages divorce!   

7. 申命记24：1-4 描述一个情况：男人休了妻子，因为她不悦目。她再婚，

第二个丈夫也因为不悦目她而休了她。两次的离婚，都是不合乎神的心意

的。可是，离婚在神的眼中是那么的严重：当第二个丈夫死后，第一个丈夫

不可再娶这女人为妻。人再婚后，与前配偶和好再嫁/娶就不可能了。

(注：不悦目--原文的意思不容易确定。)

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 describes a situation:  a woman is divorced twice for “unpleasantness”– God does not approve of either divorce.  But divorce is so serious in God’s eyes, that it cannot be remedied through reconciliation, once re-marriage has happened. 

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency (unpleasantness) in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house, and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man’s wife,

and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an

abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance.” (Deuteronomy 24:1-4)

8. 我们必须从马太18：15-18的角度来看马太19：。两处经文都是耶稣的教导

！若有基督徒犯了淫乱的罪，教会应该跟著马太18：15-18的四步骤：

(一) 私下面责；(二) 带一，两个证人面责；(三) 告诉教会；(四) 开除会籍

，把他当作外人，非信徒对待。

若在第1，2，3步中，他悔改了，那么他应与神，与配偶和好。

太18：15-18

Understand Matthew 19:9 in light of Matthew 18:15-18.  Jesus is speaking in both places.  When a Christian commits fornication, the church must follow 4 steps: (1) speak privately to him, (2) bring witnesses, (3) tell it to the church, (4) if he does not repent, expel him, regard him as a non-believer.  If  the Christian repents (in steps 1-3), restore him, reconcile him to his spouse.

“If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.  But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed.   If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuse to listen to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and tax collector.  Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.” (Matthew 18:15-18)  

9. 纪律(管教) 是耶稣基督对全教会清楚的吩咐(就像洗礼与圣餐是耶稣清楚

吩咐的一样) 。纪律的目标，一定是恢复犯罪者与神的关系，和与人(家庭) 和好。若好好执行纪律的话，教会必定更健康。这需要勤劳的事奉，是不容易的！很多教会在这方面亏欠/懒惰。

Discipline is explicitly commanded by Jesus, like baptism and the Lord’s Supper are.  The goal of discipline (Matthew 18) is always to reconcile people to God and others.  Discipline contributes to the spiritual health of the church.  It is hard work!  (Churches are grossly negligent here.)   

10. 马太福音18，19章要一起来读。(一) 基督徒不可(主动) 离婚。(二) 基督徒若

犯淫乱，教会应该跟马太福音18章的程序处理。(三) 犯罪者若不悔改，那么

另一方可以离婚。神从来没有吩咐基督徒离婚，神从来没有鼓励基督徒离婚；在这个情况，神容许基督徒离婚。(注：对方已经不是基督徒了。)

Put Matthew 18 and 19 together: (a) Christians must not divorce.  (b) If a Christian commits fornication, follow the 4 steps in Matthew 18.  (c) If the sinner does not repent, the Christian has the option to divorce. Divorce is never commanded/encouraged by God; it is allowed here. 

11. 保罗在林前7：10-11所教导的，与耶稣的教导完全符合。基督徒不可彼此

离婚。

I Corinthians 7:10-11 Paul teaches the same thing as Jesus.  Christians cannot divorce each other. 

12. 可是在林前7：12-16， 保罗处理了另外一种情况，是耶稣在福音书里没有

处理的。(因此保罗说，“不是主说，是我说。”)
(一) 基督徒弟配偶若不是基督徒，那么基督徒不可提出离婚，要与非信徒

同住。(二) 若非信徒要离开，那么基督徒必须让他离开(离婚) 。神吩咐基

督徒要容许非信徒离婚(若后者要这样作的话) 。

林前7：10-15

In verses 12-16, Paul deals with a second scenario which Jesus did not deal with: (a) If a Christian has a non-Christian spouse, the Christian must live with him/her.  (b)If  the non-Christian leaves (i.e., divorces the Christian), the Christian is commanded to allow for the divorce, for peace’s sake.  

“But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.  But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.  And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.  For the unbelieving husband I sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.  Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.”  (I Corinthians 7:10-15) 

13. 在林前7：12-15，保罗说，因为有基督徒在一个家庭里，那些非信徒都成为

“圣洁” 了！

In I Cor. 7:12-15, non-Christians are “holy” because a Christian is in the home! 

14. 结论： (一) 马太福音18，19章教导我们，基督徒弟基督徒配偶，若犯淫乱

，而不悔改也不听教会的纪律/管教的话，基督徒可以离婚 (到那个地步，对

方已经不是基督徒了) 。(二) 林前7：12-15教导我们，当一个非基督徒向一

个基督徒提出离婚时，基督徒必须容许离婚。在这两个例外情况下，神容许基督徒离婚。

Conclusion: (a) Matthew 18 and 19 teaches that, if a Christian’s Christian spouse commits fornication, does not repent and does not heed discipline, the Christian can divorce his/her spouse (who by now is regarded as a non-believer).  (b) I Corinthians 7:12-15 teaches that when a non-Christian divorces a Christian, the Christian must allow for this divorce and go through with it.  These are the two situations where God allows the Christian to participate in a divorce. 

15. 请注意：所谓心灵的创伤，从来就不是圣经提供的离婚理由。可是，教会必须根据马太福音18执行处理犯罪事件，这包括一个配偶不遵行婚约的义务，

如离弃家庭，或虐待等。有身体/生命危险时，教会应立刻采取行动保护受害者。

Note that “mental pain” is never given as a reason for Christians to divorce.  The church, however, must follow Matthew 18 and exercise discipline when a spouse neglects or violates his/her marriage obligations (e.g. by desertion or physical abuse).  If there is physical danger, the church should act immediately to protect the injured/potential victims.  

III.  再婚 Re-marriage

　

1. 在林前7：15，当基督徒让非基督徒离婚之后，可以再婚。这是最自然解释14，15节的方法。英文：在这些事上，我们不被捆绑。

In I Corinthians 7:15, a Christian who participates in a divorce initiated by his/her non-Christian spouse, is allowed to re-marry. 

“ Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.”  (I Cor. 7:10-15)

2. 我们的结论是，在马太福音福音19：9，耶稣让基督徒离婚，当对方犯

淫乱，不肯悔改也不听教会的管教时。基督徒若离婚，可以再婚。

We conclude that in Matthew 19:9, Jesus allows divorce to happen in the exceptional case of fornication (with the understanding that, reconciliation is not possible because the fornicator refuses to repent and refuses to heed discipline.)

The most natural interpretation is: he/she who divorces under these circumstances, can remarry.

Jay Adams, Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible (Zondervan 1980).